I decided many years ago to pursue my dreams and took the necessary steps and various actions, and my life has never been the same again as a result. Success is a decision! I look at the struggles in the lives of my family members and I wonder how children from the same parents, brought up in the same home, and given the same opportunities and resources could each turn out so differently. A few are doing well but the majority are struggling and living from pay check to pay check, while others are barely making ends meet.
It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped — Tony Robbins
How is it possible that people who went to the same school, had the same great teachers, and competed for high grades in school will have a few go on to be leaders of businesses, great writers of bestsellers, or ministers of great churches, while others appear not to be doing much and struggling through life? It’s all about the decisions people make. We must remember that the decisions we make will dictate the lives we live. Every single decision is either moving you in the direction of your dreams or moving you away from those dreams. What decisions have created your current lifestyle? What indecisions have created the life you have not planned for?
Life happens to all of us and there is nobody who is immune to the challenges life brings. I once invested in what appeared to be a potentially lucrative business, which however turned out to be a major business disaster. I lost lots of money, went through the pain of loss, and learnt a few lessons and now fully understand the significance of a thorough due diligence. It was John Maxwell who said, “Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn.” Theodore Roosevelt, a past president of the United States said, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
It’s very important to make the decision to design the life you have always wanted and to live the life you imagine. Deciding to win no matter what is a resolve to do whatever is humanly possible to achieve your goals and dreams. Winning is a choice each one of us must make and losing is a decision we can learn to avoid. There are many winners and losers in the world and each success or loss has been a matter of decision. There are those who have been hard hit by health challenges yet decided to win in spite of them. There are those who were in thriving relationships, but somewhere along the line the relationship fell apart. Some gave up and relinquished the leadership of their lives to the unfortunate situation while others said goodbye to the relationships and became very successful people thereafter.
I know of a businessman who lost all his investments due to fraud and almost gave up on life after the experience. He said he had even thought of ending his life as a result since he did not know how to come through the difficult experience. I had a word with this friend and others did too. He thought at the time that his life was over but with great difficulty he came through over the years and is doing great again. He now has a thriving investment, consulting, and training business. Every ending brings a new beginning if you stay the course. Learn not to live in your past. Living in the past will prevent you from focusing on the future. Things will eventually turn around for the person who dares not give up!
One day I was taking a walk and met a fine young man and we became friends. We agreed to continue to take walks together and talk about life. Whenever we went for a walk, he was more interested in talking about why he was the way he was; justifying his current lot in life and explaining away why his life would remain a certain way. This gentleman had had an accident and blamed everything on this, as if using it as an excuse was a good thing. On the other hand, I was talking to him about success, personal responsibility for results, doing away with excuses, and not focusing on the negative. On our last walk he got very upset with me because of my philosophy of life and my belief system of success, achievement, advancement, and all the good stuff. Though he was a fine young man, it became quickly apparent to me that we had different belief systems that were in conflict with each other. I let him go and felt great doing that. Who are you holding on to who is causing you to renege on your commitments and promise for a better life? Who are you afraid of letting go for fear of hurting their feelings? I learned a long time ago that people pleasers are not cut out to design the life they want and be successful doing that.
I like the quote by Robert Tew who said, “Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.” This is great advice. Why not make a list of the people in your life who are not taking you anywhere? After you have done that, raise the rent and kick them out of your mind. I had to let go of a few people in my life. It really felt great and I am now travelling light with less excess baggage from people. I suggest you do the same. You will be happy you did. You may be wondering what to do if they are family members. Just spend less time with them.